To Myself and Everyone
There was no time to be bored. There was no time to take the quiet of the mornings and allow my mind to gather itself into something that wasn’t all to do lists and crisis management. This has been my default existence, not by choice, for the past several years.
It took some time to realize that the mind and body need times of quiet in order to reflect and create or who knows what else. Over the past 20 plus years whenever I was able to have moments or days where things did not seem pressing, I never knew what would happen. I never knew what would come up and reveal itself to me. When I did find myself having such time and space, I always, always wanted to be there to find out.
As a caregiver to a child with a chronic illness or let’s face it as a mother in general, these times of reflection can be rare. They can come and go. Take them if you can because I assure you the disconnection from yourself will show up one day and it won’t be pretty. Feeling out of sorts, anxious or untethered to anything are not pleasant feelings and we have all been there. I’m not here to judge or to tell you to focus on “self-care” and to put your mask on first (I apologize to everyone but I just can’t hear this anymore) and to meditate and work out and make time for your friends and have a morning routine and on and on. This just becomes more on our to do lists. More ways to feel bad about things we are not doing. I know these things are backed by good intentions but there is so much coming at us all the time that this can become part of the noise.
It’s ok to not have a “morning routine” where you journal, meditate, exercise, get outside so you reset your circadian rhythm, have Athletic Greens or a Collagen Smoothie or 6 million supplements, and then all calm and collected, you log on to your email feeling all focused and ready to tackle the day. But also It’s ok to have a morning routine if you do, but maybe don’t get to it every day. I’m telling you it’s okay.
We all need to find our own thing that work. Some days it is waking up and walking with a friend and recognizing the small joy of sun on your face. Other days there is a pressing situation (sigh) and it’s right to the computer or phone or, oh shit, the Emergency Room.
The goal is not perfection or doing what someone else is doing. Nope. That’s a trap. The goal is only for yourself to just have more moments of calm when your body is firing less stress hormones, and your mind is open and able to access those deep parts of your self you know are there. If you don’t believe me, listen to Tricia Hersey on this podcast or go to her her site, the Nap Ministry! It will change your life. Ot at least it is a start to thinking differently about your life.
